Miss Manners: They all arrived early at the restaurant, and I find it suspicious

DEAR MISS MANNERS My brother and I celebrated the birthday of a close friend with several others Related Articles Miss Manners Did I break specific rule with my high-end party Miss Manners She took me to an expensive restaurant and committed a crime Miss Manners I gave the teen money and now I m in an awkward situation Miss Manners The marriage proposal you saw on TikTok was bogus Miss Manners Is it really that weird to ask the server to pick my meal for me The dinner was at a restaurant beginning at p m stated time We had difficulty finding parking and arrived minutes late but not because we were careless of the time Our friends had a table just to the left of the front door It was obvious that the eight of them had arrived early for there were empty glasses and picked-over appetizers I don t see how they could have ordered and finished drinks and appetizers within minutes or so unless they d all gathered prior to the stated time No one had mentioned they were going to do this or reached out to find why we were late Last to arrive we soon had our own cocktails Still it bothers me that the rest of the party gathered before us Most of of these friends see each other at least twice a week when we don t In prior birthday events perhaps a couple arrived early and had a cocktail but never the rest of the party together so this hadn t bothered me before This time it did Am I being oversensitive I think if the party starts at a stated time the guests arrive around that time and wait a minimal minutes before ordering anything This situation has occurred before but not to this degree I feel my friends have moved on Should I GENTLE READER Your development would be a whole lot stronger had you not been minutes late As it stands your friends could say they were not sure when or even if you were coming so went ahead with ordering drinks No doubt they might add the waitstaff was pressuring them to do so To get them to admit they were there longer than that would be tantamount to accusing them of fooling you not a good look or a pleasant way to celebrate a birthday Miss Manners assures you Perhaps you should hold off casting aside a whole group of close friends until you have evidence of malice If you really want to catch them in the act you had better get there on time or even early That includes leaving extra time for parking DEAR MISS MANNERS I would like to hear your opinion on whether saying Excuse me can be rude In my opinion if I can see that a person s activity will only take a minute it is rude to say Excuse me and expect them to stop what they re doing to allow me to accomplish my task The proper thing to do in my mind is to patiently wait my turn What do you think GENTLE READER It depends on the activity Related Articles Asking Eric Doesn t the mom see how her dream trip looks to her anxious daughter Harriette Cole My daughter hadn t brought home her boyfriend and now I know why Miss Manners Did I break several rule with my high-end party Dear Abby They changed the dates of our big trip and didn t tell me about it Asking Eric I identified out my daughter is having a party and I m not invited If someone is standing in your way in the grocery aisle trying to decide between mayonnaise brands you should patiently wait your turn If that person is blocking you while texting a spouse having an intense argument about whether mayonnaise should be in their diet at all and should we even be married if you don t care enough to pick up the things I sought then the task at hand is not going to soon be accomplished In that development you may say Excuse me with Miss Manners s blessing Note that tone is pivotal too A haughty Well excuse me is reliably rude Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO